Pessimistic Pundit Gifts

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"Look on the dark side."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

Must you always be so negative?

'Your glass is half full!'

Big government pig

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

This will be a banner day for you!

Have A Nietzsche Day