Pessimistic Pundit Pillows

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"Look on the dark side."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Die alone"

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

Must you always be so negative?

'Your glass is half full!'

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

Big government pig

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

This will be a banner day for you!

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "