Pessimist With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'I thought buying the boat would make him more optimistic about the future but apparently not...'

"We're waiting for the land to slide before we actually build on it."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The Dungeon

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'We made it, Happy New Year.'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

This will be a banner day for you!

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Look at that lunatic...'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

"Well, it's a change of scenery."

"You really don't need a good life, just a great obituary writer."

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."