Pessimistic Humor Gifts

Hope

Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob, a detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Pessimists v Optimists.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

Tom's last day.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

'We made it, Happy New Year.'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

'Look at that lunatic...'

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

The end of the world is nigh.

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

'He always was an optimist.'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"