Pessimist Humor Lover Gifts

The whine of the month selection - Why me?

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'We made it, Happy New Year.'

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Look at that lunatic...'

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

The split end is near.

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

"You really don't need a good life, just a great obituary writer."

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

"Waiter! My glass is half empty."

The human condition

"Next time you hire a futurist, don't hire a good one."