Devout Pessimist Gifts

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Die alone"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Turned out nice again.'

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

This will be a banner day for you!

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.