Perpetual Pessimist Gifts

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Your problem is that you see the glass as half-empty."

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

"Life is a lot like stop and go traffic. A pessimist sees the stop, an optimist - the go."

"Half full."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

Tom's last day.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

'Turned out nice again.'

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

This will be a banner day for you!

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

Half full. Half empty. Undecided.