Chronic Pessimist Gifts

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

"Die alone"

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Turned out nice again.'

Come hell, or highwater, Eric remains confident that his call will come.

This will be a banner day for you!

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

Half full. Half empty. Undecided.

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

The end is near! Wacko. The end is far!

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"