The Eternal Pessimist Gifts

When pessimists live the dream.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

'Let's put that nasty word out 'plummet' of our minds.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

Gonna Suck

The Dungeon

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

Y2K Solutions Inc.

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

This will be a banner day for you!

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

Half full. Half empty. Undecided.

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

The end is near! Wacko. The end is far!