Devout Pessimist T-Shirts

The end is near! Wacko. The end is far!

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

'Turned out nice again.'

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

This will be a banner day for you!

"People wipe their feet on me all day long. I mean, really, what could possibly be worse than that?"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

Half full. Half empty. Undecided.

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"