Playful Pessimist T-Shirts

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

The 'Stroke' of Midnight

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Room for bigger presents!"

Misfortune cookies

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

The Dungeon

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"People wipe their feet on me all day long. I mean, really, what could possibly be worse than that?"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Look at that lunatic...'

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

The split end is near.

The world may be my oyster, but I've never been able to pry it open.