Pessimist Charmer Gifts

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

'Look at that lunatic...'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

Half Full/Half Empty

The split end is near.

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

"I think next year things will really be different."

Pessimists Anonymous - chart.

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."

'(Sigh!) I doubt if the country will ever have a mood of optimism again....'

'It seems that he was too optimistic. His glass of water wasn't half full. Obviously, it was completely empty.'

"You really don't need a good life, just a great obituary writer."

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

The whine of the month selection - Why me?