Romantic Pessimist Gifts

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"Uh, what do you mean, 'winner take all'?"

Life is for the birds.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Cupid

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Puppy Love

"Everybody meets online these days."

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

Heart is sewn back together.

"If this means we're married the future looks gnarly."