Fashionable Pessimist Gifts

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Look at that lunatic...'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

The split end is near.

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

"President Elect Donald Trump was killed today. . . when he was crushed under the wight of his own ego."

The whine of the month selection - Why me?

"Waiter! My glass is half empty."

'Surprised you made it this far. No one likes a know-it-all.'

"We're waiting for the land to slide before we actually build on it."

'I thought buying the boat would make him more optimistic about the future but apparently not...'