Pessimist Chuckler Gifts

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Look at that lunatic...'

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."