Pessimist Chuckler Pillows

Mayfly holds a sign saying "The end is night".

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'...and on that you have my word.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Tom's last day.

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"My glass is half empty"

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"People wipe their feet on me all day long. I mean, really, what could possibly be worse than that?"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'Look at that lunatic...'

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."