Skeptical Chuckler Pillows

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Jesus Christ

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Various Birds of Pray.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'You were afraid for the drill?'

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"If I knew next week's winning lottery numbers do you think I'd be sitting here telling you."

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

'The spirit is very positive about your future...'

Why Moms and Boxing don't mix.

'Oh no! Not another customer looking for a mortgage...'

'Was that you who screamed?'

'I'm fed up with this hosepipe ban... I mean, it's not like we really need one.'