Quirky Habits Pillows

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

Pick your own.

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

Latter-day saints

'You mean a vegan isn't the same thing as a witch?'

"He's stopped that annoying knuckle cracking, but now he's smuggling in bubble wrap."

Colin had one of those annoying habits that was difficult to ignore.

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

Post-Modern Parenting

Drying your hands on trousers.

'Take no notice she often feigns death she was raised by possums.'

'Welcome to our staff, Ms. Newborn. There are a few things you should know about us from the outset. I'm a hummer... Mr Bellencourt is a whistle...And Morton, over there by the window, screams from time-to-time.'

Naked bowling in the living room

Rare Medical Conditions - The Obsessive habit of checking the contents of one's hankerchief after each use.

'Cats are creatures of habit.'

'Oscar! You just have to get closer to your spittoon!'

'The water shortage began it - Then somehow, the habit of sharing-a-bath stuck...'

Designated Smoking Area - Please do not tap on glass

"Sweetie, you know I can’t sleep without mariachi noise."