Quirky Habit Appreciator Pillows

'Cats are creatures of habit.'

Weird things I do because of the internet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Chameleon.

"Are you binge watching again?"

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

"You're in my spot!"

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

"Well, He's not mainstream, But he's cute."

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

"I've never been able to convince a mustache to move in with my face."

Cat and Mouse.

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

"Isn't it incredible that both of is, at this exact same moment are unemployed/"

'He said I looked beautiful in the gown I was wearing...then he asked if he could borrow it!'

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

Drying your hands on trousers.

Post-Modern Parenting

'Take no notice she often feigns death she was raised by possums.'

'Welcome to our staff, Ms. Newborn. There are a few things you should know about us from the outset. I'm a hummer... Mr Bellencourt is a whistle...And Morton, over there by the window, screams from time-to-time.'