Quirky Habit Observer Pillows

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Pyramid Garden

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

Latter-day saints

"You're in my spot!"

A Special Person - man explains to psychiatrist how his special perception leaves him friendless.

'Good news. They're looking at seed catalogues.'

A Peeping Tom.

"Sir, would you mind changing places with me?"

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

"Look...it's the Perez twins."

"I can't believe they allow bowling in their apartment."

"They put hot pepper in the bird feeder to keep squirrels away, but it attracted these dorks."