Quirky Habit Observer Pillows

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

Pyramid Garden

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

Latter-day saints

"You're in my spot!"

A Special Person - man explains to psychiatrist how his special perception leaves him friendless.

'Good news. They're looking at seed catalogues.'

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

A Peeping Tom.

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

"Sir, would you mind changing places with me?"

"Look...it's the Perez twins."

"I can't believe they allow bowling in their apartment."

"They put hot pepper in the bird feeder to keep squirrels away, but it attracted these dorks."