Quirky Habits Aficionado Pillows

Drying your hands on trousers.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"It may look funny, but at least I'm warm."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"Have we got a show for you!"

The Man in the Iron Basque!

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

'Bring on the cool weather! My new vest is made with 100% goose down.'

Extraordinarily Ugly Clothes for Extraordinarily Attractive People

Urinals high up on the wall

"What, already?! Never heard of casual fridays, luv?"

T-shirt - I Love Australia (Upside Down)

'That's it, we're out of water: Thank goodness, we still have milk...'

'He dresses a little odd, but he's a super lawyer.'

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

Post-Modern Parenting

Yes, I'm very fond of falconry. What of it?

'My parents always gave me choices.'

Naked bowling in the living room

'I just sold 50 gallons of blood to buy new hunting equipment. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home to pass out.'

"This is lots more fun with these lab coats."

A snowman trying on different noses

"When it fills in I'm hoping for the texture of corduroy."

Pick your own.

Dale sports his new Chia shirt.