Quirky Habits Aficionado Pillows

Drying your hands on trousers.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"It may look funny, but at least I'm warm."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

The Man in the Iron Basque!

"Have we got a show for you!"

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

Extraordinarily Ugly Clothes for Extraordinarily Attractive People

'Bring on the cool weather! My new vest is made with 100% goose down.'

Urinals high up on the wall

'That's it, we're out of water: Thank goodness, we still have milk...'

"What, already?! Never heard of casual fridays, luv?"

T-shirt - I Love Australia (Upside Down)

'He dresses a little odd, but he's a super lawyer.'

Yes, I'm very fond of falconry. What of it?

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

Post-Modern Parenting

A snowman trying on different noses

"This is lots more fun with these lab coats."

'My parents always gave me choices.'

"When it fills in I'm hoping for the texture of corduroy."

Pick your own.

Naked bowling in the living room

'I just sold 50 gallons of blood to buy new hunting equipment. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home to pass out.'

Static Clink - A Velcro Jail