Quirky Habits Fan Pillows

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Phoenix

Deer Cross Dressing.

The next damn Batman.

Man playing chess from his parked car.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

She was always an introvert.

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

Magic mushroom

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

Cross-Breeding Oops #3: The Dooodledoodle

"Fruit of the Loon"

I'm terrified of clown fish.

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'

'That's strange, I never forget things.'

"What do you mean, you can't walk without your head going back and forth like that?! Are you serious?"

Snake

It's the latest thing: a nicotine patch tie.

'You cant use the menu like everyone else?'

Scarecrow Goalie

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

"Shadow, nothing. I saw Elvis."

"I'm difficult to shop for. I wear a size extra medium."

Kangaroo

"Ha-ha funny or funny strange?

Drying your hands on trousers.

Post-Modern Parenting

'You wouldn't believe the number of odd socks I have...'

Pick your own.