Funny Habits Pillows

"He's stopped that annoying knuckle cracking, but now he's smuggling in bubble wrap."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"No matter how many times Martha berated Tony, she just couldn't break him of his habit of not chewing his food."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

Rodin's Nailbiter.

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

You are what you collect.

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Burl always has to walk around the house when he brushes his teeth. . . he can't sit still for a minute.'

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"Maybe we'd stand a better change of rescue if we didn't look so much like penguins."

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

Smoking away money.

Golfer on Football Pitch

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

'Book of Virtues'...'Book of Vices'

'Honey you're roaring.'

Colin had one of those annoying habits that was difficult to ignore.

"You know...maybe grinding your teeth isn't such a bad thing."