Quirky Cure Enthusiast Pillows

'I've done it! A cold tablet that tastes like chicken soup!'

Football Crazy strip six

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Very cool. What else can it do?'

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

Circus News

"So, did the doctor give you something for your runny nose?"

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

It's THE miracle pill

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

Dr. Potato Head

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

"Thanks goodness, I thought she was pregnant?"