Quirky Care Enthusiast Pillows

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

Football Crazy strip six

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Egg Buggy

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

A Mom and Pop Operation

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

Tapeworms Need Love Too

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

Circus News

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"Thanks goodness, I thought she was pregnant?"