Quirky Cure Seeker Pillows

I'd like to try an experimental German treatment called Kwitcherbichen.

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Lumbar support animal

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Water power.

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Odd Spas

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

'I know it's cold up here, but you can't attain enlightenment wearing a hat like THAT.'

The idea for tiny drink umbrellas is conceived.

'I'm screwed...'

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"Very nice, but what's the thread count?"

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

'So, what's this new 'wonder drug'?'

Virus

Natural relaxation in confinement

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

Face painting vs bottom painting

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

'I've prescribed Anti-Depressants - you'll still be paranoid, but you'll be happily paranoid!'

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

"Stop the barking .50"

This might sting a little.

Fakir on bed of nails reads an 'Acupuncture' book.

Psychiatrist with phrenology chart, reads bumps on head.

"How about wearing heavier shoes?"