Quirky Medicine Lover Pillows

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

Anatomy.

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

Plastic Surgery

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Hi, I'm going to be your heart surgeon.'

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

Fakir on bed of nails reads an 'Acupuncture' book.

Dr. Potato Head

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"