Quirky Medicine Lover Pillows

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

Quick! 5-second rule!

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

Anatomy.

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

'Hi, I'm going to be your heart surgeon.'

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

Fakir on bed of nails reads an 'Acupuncture' book.