Quirky Prescription Enthusiast Pillows

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

'Maybe I'd better check with your doctor - this seems to be a prescription for a watermelon and a pair of suspenders.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

Meds Toast

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

'My portfolio is doing well after they injected it with the right combination of pharmaceuticals.'

I won THAT Pulitzer for a drug name.

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

Pain relievers and pain inducers.