Quirky Canine Connoisseur Gifts

'You talk about a clean dog!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Imagine

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Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

Dog Park Zoom

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"What's all this?"

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

K9 Literati.

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Dog Sees Only Food

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"What's worse, that or this?"

"You've got to lay off the homework."

Dogs and Cake

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'