Questionnaires Gifts

How often do you answer random questions?

Random sample.

'Stupid woman - of course I watch television, what else are you supposed to do with it???'

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

'. . . and 14% said they didn't own a TV set, although I could hear it in the background!'

'Do you find my opinions: a) well informed? b) insightful? c) ...?'

". . . we got another dead online dater, just finished his 59,427th profile question."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

First and last day as census taker...

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

Life is About Learning

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

Detective Dinkins always made sure suspects knew how good he was at getting them to talk.

Suggestions Box

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

"d you say, 'better the devil you know,' or 'throw the rascal out' or 'other'?"

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

'But first, a few questions about life and death.'

"Just how fed up with customer services feedback are you: (a) very (b) extremely (c) incandescent with rage (d) don't ask if you value your life?"

Clancy:Survey Question

Census Interrogation

Are you a Questionnaire Addict?

'I exaggerated on my resume and I was still underqualified.'

Survey results: 9 out of 10 angels feel that dancing on the head of a pin is demeaning and potentially quite hazardous.

'What question can never be answered by yes?'

Opinion poll. I don't know if I'm politicall right or left, but everybody seems to think I'd definitely off-center.

Man Carves Question Mark.