Questionnaire Strategist Gifts

"Some say filling out the census form puts your privacy in jeopardy. So I answered everything in the form of a question."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"How was work?"

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

'Tell me, Mr Tolteck, have you applied for the headhunter or the key account manager position?'

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

"In preparation for the AP English Literature test, I've focused my reading on books reflecting a common idea, that they end in fewer than 200 pages."

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

5 YEARS AGO

'I was successful in meeting expectations by lowering them during the job interview.'

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."