Surveys Strategist Gifts

When Focus Group Researchers Go Head to Head

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'You'll learn that our corporate structure is a bit unconventional.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

Surveys and economic interests

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

First and last day as census taker...

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"