Survey Specialist Gifts

'We'll be relying on three sources of raw data ? direct mail, phone survey, and Eddie in the mail room.'

'It's an internet survey asking if there are too many internet surveys.'

'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'

'Our readers just are not very articulate.'

"Yes, I know I've already asked you these questions. But, if I don't poll five people an hour, I could lose my job!"

Surveys and economic interests

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."