Surveyors Gifts

Indian burial ground.

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

"Looking at all the stars in the sky makes me feel cosmically mindful—all my earthly concerns meaningless in the breadth of what I now witness. I’d have a better view if the Lewises would cut down those useless pine trees... Curious if those damn things are on my property. I’ll call the town surveyor in the morning and see if I can get those stupid trees removed. I hate having neighbors..."

"My parents are good providers, and if I say so myself, I'm not a bad providee."

"Interior walls white sliced skimmed with dream topping."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Tension filled the tent.

When Engineers Crack.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Surveys and economic interests

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"