Surveyer Gifts

'Excuse me, Sir - I wonder if you'd mind helping me with a survey....?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Tension filled the tent.

When Engineers Crack.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

Surveys and economic interests

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"