Building Surveyor Gifts

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

When Engineers Crack.

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Surveys and economic interests

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

Under New Mismanagement

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."