Chartered Surveyor Gifts

'Buffy the chartered surveyor.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Tension filled the tent.

When Engineers Crack.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Surveys and economic interests

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

Valuation of Heaven

Surveying.

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"