Chartered Surveyor T-Shirts

'Buffy the chartered surveyor.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Tension filled the tent.

When Engineers Crack.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Surveys and economic interests

"I see you have experience marking territory."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Join the Army! And see the world! Satellite reconnaissance photo analysis division.

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

Surveying.

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"

Valuation of Heaven