Surveyor T-Shirts

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

When Engineers Crack.

'And finally question fifty, Do you ever feel like killing someone?'

Clancy:Survey Question

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"When you're finished here, Spencer, we'll need you on the bridge-to-nowhere project."

'Well, it may appear sound, Mr Pig, but in my opinion, a huff or a puff could soon bring the place down.'

Ticking boxes on a checklist.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Using a transit, Dave officially determines that Bill is not level headed.

"I tell you we've studied the entire site and there is no toxic waste."

'Dry rot! Are you sure?'

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

Statistics Dept: 41% of people like the corner cafe, 30% like the diner across the street, 20% are unsure!

'Oh, stop! That's what it's called, for crying out loud!'

'Is that your final answer?'

'Do you know what doesn't get the publicity they deserve? Plumbobs.'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Of course I support abstinence!"

"Peut-on rire de tout?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"d you say, 'better the devil you know,' or 'throw the rascal out' or 'other'?"

Surveying.

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Surveying and statistics sections in a Library.

"That's the worst set of opinions I've heard in my entire life."

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Surveyor

'I personally don't care what your opinion is. I just didn't like the way you said it.'

"....And do you tell people who ask nosy, impertinent questions to "P*** off" (A) Frequently (B) Very Frequently or (C) Always?"