Survey Worker Gifts

'Is my husband well read? Let me put it this way...if it's not on the refrigerator, he doesn't know about it.'

'He doesn't have an opinion... he hasn't had a drink yet.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

Surveys and economic interests

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

EU Polling Station

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

First and last day as census taker...

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'