Survey Enthusiasts Gifts

Regulators claim practices are overloaded with patient surveys.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

Surveys and economic interests

First and last day as census taker...

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

Excessive Paperwork

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'