Survey Aficionado Gifts

Annual cat survey.

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

"That's the worst set of opinions I've heard in my entire life."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

Mori, Ipsos, Gallup, just nosey

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

Surveys and economic interests

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

Surveying.

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."

"d you say, 'better the devil you know,' or 'throw the rascal out' or 'other'?"

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

"We've been out surveying too long."