Census Aficionado Gifts

'What do you mean, 'Is the head of the household in?''

Tony Clements Speaks

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Joe Biden

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

The Problem with World Population Growth

Max Weber

Gladstone returning to Westminster without a new ticket

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

An election candidate giving contradicting promises.

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

GOP Congress is about to fall victim to the 2017 elections.

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

Poll Dancing

Fresh Blood In Politics

Hillary Clinton

"Play the last presidential debate....hold on....first take our all the lies and stuff..."

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

Election 2015

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

State of the Union 2004 & 2006.

HOPE 2.0

Voting in Greece

'Don't tell anybody I asked, but just what are 'the hustings'?'

"Vote Hunter for Gatherer."

MP's vote.

'I simplified my list.'

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'