Demographics Enthusiast Gifts

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Papi, in 15 years, almost one in four college-age students in the United States will be Latino!"

"They say there's a sucker born every minute, but I'm concerned about a declining birth rate."

"Good boy."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The Problem with World Population Growth

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

Uncle Sam and Democracy

'Why should I vote for a two-bit lame-brained nobody, when i could vote for a two-bit lamb-brained somebody with 'name recognition'?'

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

U.S. demographic affecting senate representation.

"Your profile said you were a dog."

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

Ostrich Bar

"Why don't you ever do any positive stories about government dysfunction?"

Virginia Foxx Caricature

Romantic Coffee Dates

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'