Survey Enthusiast Gifts

SURVEYS-R-US: "87% of the 56% who completed more than 23% of the survey thought it was a waste of time."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"I'm taking a survey. Do you prefer to be growled or barked at?"

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

"Yes, you caught me at a bad time...I'm home!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

'I take it you are both of the same mind?'

'Do you have a few minutes to take an important survey?'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

'Of course I watch television-doesn't everyone?'

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

'And I'll be monitoring for quality and training purposes.'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"I may not know all the answers but I'm only eight seasons old!"

'Do you find my opinions: a) well informed? b) insightful? c) ...?'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"We got marked down because three respondents wanted more Indy pop in the waiting room background music."

Consumer Optimism Survey.

Surveying.

Men's, women's and undecided toilets in the office of an opinion poll company.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

Hobson's Choice Surveys

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.