Survey Superstar Gifts

Ticking boxes on a checklist.

Statistics Dept: 41% of people like the corner cafe, 30% like the diner across the street, 20% are unsure!

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"I've outgrown my backpack."

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Bigger Brain

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"We started learning about units of measurement in math class, but I don't really understand it, so I've got an acre of homework to do."

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

First and last day as census taker...

Waiting for the results.

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

Surveying.

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Suggestions Box

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

Mori, Ipsos, Gallup, just nosey