Survey Supporter Gifts

"If you don't mind, please take a moment to fill out this brief customer service survey...now...while we watch."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

Surveying.

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

Suggestions Box

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

Unfortunately of the 78% of people who completed more than 56% of the survey 98% thought it was a complete waste of time

"I'm taking a survey. Do you prefer to be growled or barked at?"

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'