Survey Savant Gifts

"Geez, you're the worst focus group I've ever seen."

Gentleman answering opinion poll instructs woman to read his answer back.

The national surveyor of consumer confidence is a smiley.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Where was I?

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

Vaccines against Covid

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Keep it simple

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'And as further evidence of global warming, we have a front of fried eggs coming in from the north. . .'

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'You can see concrete things, but not abstract things.'