Survey Skeptic Gifts

"87% of the 56% who completed more than 23% of the survey thought it was a complete waste of time."

'This is interesting, 70% of respondents to our survey said they don't respond to surveys.'

'My opinion? Are you sure I'm supposed to have one?'

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

'And finally question fifty, Do you ever feel like killing someone?'

'For the thousandth time, I don't want to take part in a survey!'

Regulators Claim Practices Are Overloaded With Patient Surveys.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'Excuse me, Sir - I wonder if you'd mind helping me with a survey....?'

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'What do you mean, 'I don't know'? I haven't asked you anything yet.'

'We've got the statistical analysis back...93% of the people who returned the survey thought it was 100% waste of time.'

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Before we finish up, would you be willing to answer a few short questions about your predation experience?'

'We're wavering between 'undecided' and 'no opinion.'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

Market researchers were advised never to target Labour MP's.

'I just decreased the accuracy of their poll by a plus or minus ten points!'

Do I have a time to take a quick survey?

Would you say the mayor: (a) Is doing an excellent job, (b) Is doing a good job, (c) Is doing just an average job or (d) Should tear up the street in front of your house?

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Market Researchers were advised never to target Labour MPs

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

Are you certainly likely, very likely, likely, somewhat likely, somewhat unlikely, unlikely, very unlikely or certainly not likely to take an overly specific survey.

Opinion poll. I don't know if I'm politicall right or left, but everybody seems to think I'd definitely off-center.

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"....And do you tell people who ask nosy, impertinent questions to "P*** off" (A) Frequently (B) Very Frequently or (C) Always?"

"Just how fed up with customer services feedback are you: (a) very (b) extremely (c) incandescent with rage (d) don't ask if you value your life?"

"Before you head back to the future, we'd like you to fill out this survey to help us improve our era."

"You didn't fill out our customer survey."

Unfortunately of the 78% of people who completed more than 56% of the survey 98% thought it was a complete waste of time

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"