Curious Survey Taker Gifts

"d you say, 'better the devil you know,' or 'throw the rascal out' or 'other'?"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Do Guns Kill?

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

First and last day as census taker...

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"Up the hill to fetch a pail of water" -- Are you sure that's how hydrodynamics works?

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

Fresh Blood In Politics

God hounded by the media.

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Surveying.

"You didn't fill out our customer survey."

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'